If I won the lottery...

This morning, on my way to work I started contemplating what I would do if I won the lottery. The Powerball is up to $72 million or so; what would I do if I won that kind of money?

Buy ourselves a house. This one's a no-brainer. Screw you, credit reports. We wouldn't need a mortgage.

Pay off the rest of my parent's house, as well as my Dad's truck, and any other outstanding debts they have. Let them save up for retirement. Hell, give them a couple of million dollars so that they can retire early.

Give Dan a million dollars, but only on the condition that he use the money to get himself a place to live, a good new car, and to live off of while he goes to college. I don't want him working joe jobs anymore.

Give our church about 10 million, so that they won't have to worry about making their budget for the next few years, and so that everyone who works there can make really good salaries and not worry about providing for their families.

What the hell... give all my friends a million dollars, so that they could retire early, or at least take very extended vacations.

Donate another 10 million to a variety of charities

Give KCUR (our local National Public Radio station) a million dollars, so they can skip their next 3 pledge drives. :)

That's about half of the money. With the rest... who knows? Probably retire and work freelance, and do gaming in my spare time (which would be most of my time).

It's a pleasant dream, anyway.

And God shuffled His feet...

...and then promptly kicked me in the ass and said, "Get a new job!"

Two former co-workers have contacted me in the last 48 hours and have both offered to help me get a position in their various companies.

Needless to say, I'm jumping on the opportunities presented. Regardless of where I end up, it's gotta be better than here right now. Right now, our development staff (all 3 of us) is predicting that the company can't possibly survive the winter, which is traditionally our slim time.

Time to take it to a new place, I think. 1 resume out last night, and one more out this evening.

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I think the stress of doing two developers' worth of work, having to juggle 6 clients at once, is making me physically ill. I'm feeling terrible right now, and I know it's stress. My upper arms are tense; that's always the first sign.

I wish I could just say, "Screw it, I'm not feeling good," and go home, but I've got too much work to do for that to work. Of course, my boss is working from home today, so apparently he can work from home, but I can't.

Gah. This is making me resentful, and I don't want that. And yet I am resenftul.

Resentful that poor management decisions have been made.
Resentful that the product we've been developing hasn't taken off, and that weak deals have been made to get what little sales we have had.
Resentful that we've reached the point where we have too much work for 3 people, but apparently not enough for 4.
Resentful that the wonderous things we were promised in the past, like our bonuses, have vanished and never rematerialized.
Resentful that our work environment has become dreary, and that morale is in the toilet.
Resentful that my position has much responsibility, but no bargaining power with clients.
Resentful that we've got no real project management.
Resentful that the only incentive we have to keep working hard is to not get fired, since raises stopped coming for me 2 years ago.

I need out. I was going to try to stay a while longer, help the company through its weak times, hope to see the light of day, but in the end it's just wearing me down and burning me out, and the company is still going to die regardless. I have to get out while I still can. If I don't, this ship's going to end up dragging me down with it, and I'll be looking for a new job anyway.

It's time to free myself. Time to go.

Y'know, God knows just when to make me laugh a bit.

Just after I posted my last message, I get a new email in my box that somehow slipped past my spam filters...

Record breaking dildo penetration

That just makes me giggle.