Still Fighting It.

Ugh. I was feeling much better last night and this morning, but now it's 1:30 PM and I've totally lost all my momentum for the day. I don't know why, but it's just a struggle to stay productive and positive now. It just feels like I lose my sense of purpose, and my focus vanishes, and it becomes this utterly draining task to get moving again. It makes me feel guilty that I'm not getting as much work done as I want to, and as much as I really should, but it just gets so hard to work when I get into a mood like this. I really do enjoy my job, but when I sink like this I don't enjoy much of anything.

I'm really trying hard to get working again, and I'm fighting hard against the urge to zone out. I don't know what else to do to get me past it other than to just wrestle with it.

Better now.

Well, I fought the good fight and I think I'm winning. A little bit of productive work, and I felt much better. I'm still getting more work done and feeling even better.

And I'm getting an early birthday gift tonight! My dad's picking up a new CPU and motherboard for Tadaka, so he'll finally move with some quickness. Maybe I can pick up a bigger hard drive and an extra fan in a few weeks, too. Piecemeal upgrades are what I'm all about. :)

Hagakure

From the 1st Chapter:

     "At the time when there was a council concerning the promotion of a certain man. the council members were at the point of deciding that promotion was useless because of the fact that the man had previously been involved in a drunken brawl. But someone said, 'If we were to cast aside every man who had made a mistake once, useful men could probably not be come by. A man who makes a mistake once will be considerably more prudent and useful because of his repentance. I feel that he should be promoted.'
     Someone else then asked, 'Will you guarantee him?'
     The man replied, 'Of course I will.'
     The others asked, 'By what will you guarantee him?'
     And he replied, 'I can guarantee him by the fact that he is a man who has erred once. A man who has never once erred is dangerous.' This said, the man was promoted."

- Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai