![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Blar. Blar blar blar.
I think I'm just going through a monthly bout of low-level depression. No real reason - maybe money stress has made me succeptable, or maybe work stress, or a lack of sunlight, or a misaligned solar system. Who knows? I'm sure it will pass. Always does. For the time being, though, I'm bored, distant, reclusive, and easily annoyed. I crave comfort and love, but don't want to be around anyone.
A bit fucked up, huh?
All I know is that I was fine during dinner - high spirits and all. And afterwards, bam, I was just down. No one's to blame, nothing happened tonight that was really different from any other. Z got online, I was in the living room watching TV (and there was NOTHING on tonight), and I got bored, and then I was depressed. Maybe I was lonely, maybe I just needed some inspiration or outside (non-puppy) energy.
But I don't blame Z. Not like she was avoiding me or anything. I could have visited her in the office. But I didn't. So blar. Blar blar blar.
I will say that it feels good to just talk about it, though. Getting my feelings off my chest and onto the screen always makes me feel better. Catharsis is a good thing. I can feel warmth coming back to my fingers, my heart, my mind. I find myself smiling a bit as I write this. Not perfect yet, but feeling better, at least. Finding a bit of inspiration to do something. Not really sure what yet -- maybe some web work, or maybe work on some things I brought home from the office. Haven't decided yet. I wish I could take a day off -- maybe next week, once work has finally slowed down. Maybe I can even do some work from home, and just take it easy.
Okay, I'm feeling better now. Thanks for listening, LJ.
I think I'm just going through a monthly bout of low-level depression. No real reason - maybe money stress has made me succeptable, or maybe work stress, or a lack of sunlight, or a misaligned solar system. Who knows? I'm sure it will pass. Always does. For the time being, though, I'm bored, distant, reclusive, and easily annoyed. I crave comfort and love, but don't want to be around anyone.
A bit fucked up, huh?
All I know is that I was fine during dinner - high spirits and all. And afterwards, bam, I was just down. No one's to blame, nothing happened tonight that was really different from any other. Z got online, I was in the living room watching TV (and there was NOTHING on tonight), and I got bored, and then I was depressed. Maybe I was lonely, maybe I just needed some inspiration or outside (non-puppy) energy.
But I don't blame Z. Not like she was avoiding me or anything. I could have visited her in the office. But I didn't. So blar. Blar blar blar.
I will say that it feels good to just talk about it, though. Getting my feelings off my chest and onto the screen always makes me feel better. Catharsis is a good thing. I can feel warmth coming back to my fingers, my heart, my mind. I find myself smiling a bit as I write this. Not perfect yet, but feeling better, at least. Finding a bit of inspiration to do something. Not really sure what yet -- maybe some web work, or maybe work on some things I brought home from the office. Haven't decided yet. I wish I could take a day off -- maybe next week, once work has finally slowed down. Maybe I can even do some work from home, and just take it easy.
Okay, I'm feeling better now. Thanks for listening, LJ.
