(no subject)

I was just thinking about Forumopolis, and about the fact that I'm a relative unknown (if not completely unknown) there. I very, very rarely post there (either in the current or any past incarnations), and I rarely comment on anyone else's posts. Kind of follows a pattern in life where I'm always generally on the periphery of any large group, very rarely venturing inward. This morning, I've been reflecting on that a bit, and trying to figure out why.

For one thing, I've never been one to crave attention. Very rarely have I ever done anything just to get people to notice me. It's funny, me being a former drama major and wanting to keep a low profile, but that's just how it is. That's not to say I don't love interacting with people, and that I don't want to be noticed ever... just that I don't feel comfortable saying something or doing something just for the sake of being noticed. I don't really have an online persona, or a gimmick or schtick that I go with, or anything that anyone would really notice me for. I'm just me, and I just try to be myself.

That brings me to my second point. I rarely feel like I have anything to add to a conversation. I see all these threads go by on Forumopolis, or on any other forum for that matter, and I think, "What, if anything, would be the benefit of me putting my two cents in?" Since, as I said above, I generally don't post just for attention, I want to post because I feel I have something to contribute, and usually I just don't feel that I do. I don't feel that I have anything profound or interesting to give that someone else hasn't already stated, or that anyone cares to hear. Since when I do post, it's generally ignored anyway, I think this kind of plays out as being true. (Not that I'm asking for pity or anything. I just feel like there's not a lot I bring to the table in many cases.)

Finally, I think there's just, well, the fact that my life isn't particularly exciting. I have no real adventures to write about, no major drama in my life, no great tragedies or exhilarating highs. I wouldn't say that I lead a life of quiet desparation -- I'm content with my life, and I don't particularly want any drama or tragedies -- but I lead what many would probably consider a relatively bland life. I do some gaming (although I'm not particularly good at it), I code a little (although I'm not exceptional), I have a few hobbies I kick around (although I'm not great at them by any means), and I talk with friends and family (and they are all cool). I enjoy my life; I just don't think it's much that anyone would be all that intrested in hearing about.

So, anyway, that's why I'm a Professional Lurker (TM). I like to see what's going on in the world, but don't have much to add to it in general. ^^

EDIT: Yes, I realize this post seems to contradict point 1 (not doing things for attention), but it's just something that's on my mind, and I wanted to purge it by getting it out in the open.