Debt consolidation... well, not for me, anyway.

Applied for a bank line of credit to help us fix our debt situation. Up to $3,000 with a decent interest rate, and it would help us get everything caught up this month.

Just got a call back. We were denied. Our credit history is just too bad, they said. Our only other real option is to use the car as collateral for a loan once it's paid off this month, I guess.

Here's the real kicker -- our credit's so bad, we can't even get a loan to fix our credit. So instead, they refuse to help us and doom us to just barely getting by over the next several months, if not years. Something else this tells me -- our credit is so bad, there's no chance in hell that we'll be able to get a home loan in the next year. I mean, if we can't get a loan for $3,000, there's no way they're going to give us a loan for $75,000 or more.

We are well and truly fucked.

Getting over the depression...

At least I was able to eat lunch. A couple of hours ago, I just felt like curling up in the corner, and now I actually feel somewhat functional. Of course, curling up in fetal position is usually the first natural reaction after being kicked in the mental 'nads, so I suppose that's not all that strange.

We are going to be okay. Our house plans may be delayed by a year or two, but we will be okay. Perhaps we can rent a house, as Ashley and Garrett did before they bought their house. Given a couple of years of work on our credit, we can do this. I mean, starting next month we have an extra $250 each month, and, God willing, there will be no major unexpected expenditures. No sick corgis, no sick people, no sick cars, and no emergency trips to St. Louis or anywhere else.

Of course, Z's still taking a leave of absence in about 2 or 3 months... but now she has a reason. Her mom's going to have major back surgery in 2 or 3 months, and so she's requested Z help her while she recouperates. I don't want Z to go -- I have really bad vibes about the whole thing, honestly -- but she's set to help her mom (as there's no one else to do it), and I'll respect her wish. I'm going to miss her dearly while she's gone, and pray every day that she comes back safely. We can live without her income, but I couldn't live without her. Well, not live and be all that content, anyway.

So if you'll pardon me, I'm still getting over the 1-2 punch my emotions have gotten in the last couple of days. I'll pull through, though.